It has been blazing hot here in J-ville Florida, the humidity will kill ya. We don't have air conditioning so the heat makes us all tired and unfortunately LAZY. There is so much I need to do yet I do not have the desire nor the energy. My poor plants wilt if they are not generously watered every day and I do so hoping to have a decent harvest of veggies. So far I have had some onion, garlic, peppers and greens. I am waiting on broccoli and more peppers. Mom bought me more seeds, Blue Lake Green Beans, Carrots and Bib lettuce. The lettuce has to be planted later, it prefers cooler temps but the beans and carrots will be planted tomorrow.
I am having problems with my chickens eating their eggs and I have followed all of the online advice I could find so I think at this point I just need to start over with new chickens. For the price it is costing me to feed them, I could be buying a whole lot of eggs! The idea behind having chickens and a garden was self sufficiency and to add to our food stash. I fear hard times are coming, things will only get worse and I think more people should be thinking about growing food and storing some away for a rainy day. I advise everyone to at least put together a two week emergency kit. Make a list of everything your family would need for 2 weeks and slowly buy those supplies and build your kit until you have all you need. After that, you can buy more items and expand beyond two weeks.
Yes, I am a long term prepper, I store long term items and as much of everything as I can but even if you don't have the desire or room for this at least have enough on hand to get your family through an emergency or unplanned event such as job loss, illness, etc. You just never know when this may be the edge you need to get back on your feet or stay on them...
I am a 46 year old BBW, Pagan Gothic Diva. I am very strong willed, opinionated and confident. I am often subjected to preconceived notions that I am arrogant or unreasonable. I can be stubborn, but if I am wrong I will admit it and will apologize.I strive to be humble, noble and patient. I am not perfect nor do I strive to be, but I do strive to be the best "ME" I can.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
The Male Species....
I know for certain I will never understand the male species. It is extremely hard for me to trust people, but especially men. I meet men all of the time who fall head over heels for me in pictures even though I tell them the Gothic make up washes off, you still have to deal with the woman beneath and she can be a handful! Still, they come forth and they swear they are different and they say they love who I am and what I look like under the make-up then within a short amount of time they just disappear or I catch them in all kinds of lies or find out they are on sammich shy of a full picnic. I am quirky, I am unusual, but I meet some down right crazeeee men!
The latest man I met pursued me for a couple of weeks online, finally started exchanging regular e-mails then text then phone. He says he was divorced , lived outside of Jacksonville and owned his own business. At the time he was working out of town supposedly and was calling me every night for days and we were making plans to meet when he came back to town. Suddenly he just stopped calling, stopped answering my calls and texts and has just disappeared. I checked with local hospitals, hospitals where he said he was working and yes... even the obituaries but nothing, nada. Everything seemed awesome, the last time we talked he was saying how he was suppose to be back in town in a couple of days and he could not wait to see me. So, I left one last message, waited for four days (at this point it had been over a week since I heard from him) and last night I deleted him from my phone. I just wish he would have at least said goodbye.
I am a closure kinda person, I need it. It drives me nuts not to know WHY. Same thing with my ex bf, After two years in a relationship he just stopped calling and answering my calls and after a week he finally answered my text and said he was moving on and when I asked him why he didn't tell me he said "I figured you would figure it out" So this time it took me less time to "Figure it Out," I was just hoping for a different ending. At least it didn't take me two years to find out that I had made a huge mistake.
So.... Once again I have decided that men are way too unpredictable and usually crazy or filled with secrets and/or lies. Once again I have searched for my new dark Prince and once again I have been disappointed. I have come to the conclusion that there is no Dark Prince for me, only memories of my one, true, dearly departed Prince, the one and only Knight of my heart. I think I would rather live with the memory of the love that was real and lasting torn apart by mortal death than to keep searching for something that is a mere illusion and fleeting and filled with deceit. Yes, I would rather be married to a memory than to go another round at creating a living reality. How very sad.....
The latest man I met pursued me for a couple of weeks online, finally started exchanging regular e-mails then text then phone. He says he was divorced , lived outside of Jacksonville and owned his own business. At the time he was working out of town supposedly and was calling me every night for days and we were making plans to meet when he came back to town. Suddenly he just stopped calling, stopped answering my calls and texts and has just disappeared. I checked with local hospitals, hospitals where he said he was working and yes... even the obituaries but nothing, nada. Everything seemed awesome, the last time we talked he was saying how he was suppose to be back in town in a couple of days and he could not wait to see me. So, I left one last message, waited for four days (at this point it had been over a week since I heard from him) and last night I deleted him from my phone. I just wish he would have at least said goodbye.
I am a closure kinda person, I need it. It drives me nuts not to know WHY. Same thing with my ex bf, After two years in a relationship he just stopped calling and answering my calls and after a week he finally answered my text and said he was moving on and when I asked him why he didn't tell me he said "I figured you would figure it out" So this time it took me less time to "Figure it Out," I was just hoping for a different ending. At least it didn't take me two years to find out that I had made a huge mistake.
So.... Once again I have decided that men are way too unpredictable and usually crazy or filled with secrets and/or lies. Once again I have searched for my new dark Prince and once again I have been disappointed. I have come to the conclusion that there is no Dark Prince for me, only memories of my one, true, dearly departed Prince, the one and only Knight of my heart. I think I would rather live with the memory of the love that was real and lasting torn apart by mortal death than to keep searching for something that is a mere illusion and fleeting and filled with deceit. Yes, I would rather be married to a memory than to go another round at creating a living reality. How very sad.....
Monday, June 24, 2013
Back from the Land Beyond...
Well here I am, a year from the last post and I promise I have a good reason. The pc died, fried to toast and the one we were given was very old and not able to perform even basic functions so I have been waiting patiently until I could get another computer to get back on my blog. I have the pc, now I need to get back to work.
My personal situation is better, not great but better than last year so I will call that a major blessing. My health continues to deteriorate but that is to be expected of Primary Lymphedema. There is no cure, only maintenance. I still refuse to pollute my body with narcotics, I use herbs (legal ones :) ) and I take muscle relaxers to ease the cramps in my legs which are what trigger the worse pain. On a bad day I take Ibuprofen, on a real bad day I just lay in bed and wonder who I can bitch slap to feel better. Actually the list is long, but the consequences not worth the momentary joy... well... maybe it would be worth it, I will have to seriously think that one over :)
My life has seriously changed in the past 9 years, even more so in the past three. I long for the days of past when I worked the clubs, danced, partied and was the Gothic social butterfly who had few cares and lived for the moment. I have learned many lessons, have experience some major defeats but I refuse to let it control me. I won't fall victim to my past and I will not repeat past mistakes.
I am writing again and trying to figure out some way to make some extra income. My disability was approved but the payment is small and barely covers the bills so I need to be smart and creative. I am gardening again but due to my limitations physically I have to grow my veggies and herbs in containers which is ok by me, as long as I can still grow them. I have chickens too and I am adding more edibles as much as possible. In my blog a year ago I kinda ranted a bit about preparedness and how everyone needs to learn some skills and grow some food. I still feel that way but I don't want to get preachy about it so all I will say is don't think the Government will take care of you in an emergency and don't think you will be able to get by on credit cards or that people will band together and help you. Perhaps at first, but if things really go South, except for small communities and bands of family the only person that will help you is YOU.
So I will try to be diligent about blogging, it's a good outlet because I do spend at least 5 minutes a day suppressing the desire to bitch slap someone so maybe this will be good therapy :)
Until next we meet....
Your Fairy Gothess Mother
:)
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