I created this blog to vent and hopefully enlighten and educate a few peeps but I have not done much with it. I get so side tracked with what's going on in the world and life in general I let weeks, then months fly by.
I have gone through some changes in these past few months, I think it actually started 4 years ago. No, it was almost 8 years ago when Mike (my husband) died. I am not the same person I once was, in fact I know I will never be the person I was. Part of who I was included Mike, his influence, his support and most of all his love. I spend most of my days wondering if he would be disappointed in me, hell I am disappointed in me. I have made some decisions that have not benefited me, but at the time I thought they were sound.
I am currently undergoing a transformation in my life that I hope will lead to better things for myself and my kids. Michael is about to enter Job Corps and Rhiannon is leaving March 15th for a train trip to Connecticut. She is supposed to only stay a couple of weeks, maybe three, but she has friends that want her to move there and if she can find a decent job and a place to live long term she may stay. It is hard for me to accept that my babies are no longer babies. They think I don't trust them to be their own person and live their own lives but the truth is I don't trust the world. Maybe I have become paranoid but this world has become too wicked and my kids mean everything to me. I want to protect them and guide them and make sure they have everything they need or at least the means to get everything they need.
Life has been hard for us, with lots of ups and downs and for the last two years it has mostly been down. Financially, I am the most broke I have ever been in my adult life. Emotionally I am the most fragile I have been in my entire life. I have isolated myself for the most part, I just don't want to be around people. I have had too many so called "friends" abandon me, Too many family members back stab me and too many people in general take advantage of me. I tend to keep to myself mostly and the eerie thing is I LIKE it. I like being alone. I feel safer, I feel less stress. I don't want to be surrounded by fake ass people who claim to care only to show later that they are just like everyone else. Save me the drama and the trouble.... I get tired of fake ass smiles and fake ass "I love You" comments. I don't even read face book anymore, I catch people in lies there, funny how people like to post all of their dirty laundry for the world to see then get upset when they are caught in a lie. Don't insult me, I may have a broken down body but my mind is still sharp.
I have found that I have little tolerance these days for the outside world, little tolerance for most people in it. I see the world in general as going to hell in a hand basket and most people are happy to go along for the ride. Most people are spoiled and have a sense of entitlement. Most of them are clueless about how bad things are getting in this corrupt world and within our own corrupt government. Our entire society is on the verge of collapse but people exist and go on like nothing is wrong. I see our country as being divided into several socio-economic classes and most of them are the have nots or barely haves.Unfortunately most people have put themselves into this mess and refuse to change. I tell people all of the time they had better prepare for troubled days ahead by doing simple things like paying down debt, store up food and items you need, store some gas, invest in some silver and most of all, learn to live frugally and learn some skills that will insure your survival should we have a social breakdown. Most people think i am nuts but we will see who is starving and doing without and who will be comfortable and fed. I truly believe things are going to get ugly in the next five years, hell it is already bad! Most people just don't realize it yet....
Anyone with half a brain and a clear focus reading this please start making changes today.... Store some food, learn wilderness survival, plant a garden, learn some crafting skills, buy a gun, get plenty of ammo, pay down your debt and secure your property and family. Take off the blinders people and PLAN! It is the only way anyone has any chance of even attempting to survive... the government sure as hell won't be helping you and if you think they will you are a fool. Educate yourself and prepare for your families survival. Get hard, get tough and get READY!
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